She hates it when he dips his cookie in the coffee. He does it over and over again. She doesn’t understand why he doesn’t stop doing that. He argues that dipping cookies is not mentioned in the wedding contract. She says – we had an agreement, you promised me not to dip your cookie in the coffee anymore! He says - no that was not what we agreed; we agreed that I would drink my coffee with more manners. I think dipping a cookie in a cup is well mannered. And on top of that it is delicious. She’ll say – you always turn words in your favor, there is no way to make an agreement with you. After a while they start yelling at each other. She yells if he thinks dipping a cookie is more important than the relationship, well what is this relationship worth then?  He yells back that if she really loved him, she would love him as he is with the cookie dipping.Normally the fight will end in a long lasting silence, and after a while, they laugh and she’ll say – how stupid, we were almost divorced over a cookie. Yes, he’ll say,  how stupid was that. He’ll laugh, and dip his cookie in the coffee. And she’ll say, if it is so stupid, then why are you doing it again? He’ll say, are you starting all over again? She’ll argue, no you started, you dipped your cookie. And they’ll be off for a new episode in their unsolvable problem.

Any outsider would say, now that is easy to solve. And it is true. But does the couple want to solve it? Maybe the cooking has a function in the relationship?